I want to paint a picture for you. John Doe comes home from work and confesses to his wife that hes done something so terrible, so damaging to their relationship, that hes afraid shell never forgive him. And then he tells her what it is.

Jane Doe (the wife) is angry. She storms out of the room uttering all sorts of words I couldnt possibly use in this article. John is left sitting at the kitchen tablewondering what his next move should be. Its not that hes afraid of Janes wrath. Its not that he wonders whether or not shell forgive him. These are problemsbut theyre not the biggest problem. The biggest problem is that he doesnt feel that hes worthy of her forgiveness. Hes feeling guilt.

Well maybe that isnt a problembut it could be, depending on how he handles it. Suppose hes afraid to approach her. He lives through the worst kind of silence man knowsthe silence of a not-talking wife. It goes on for weeks, yet he wont approach her. Finally, they split up, and he blames it on his original mistake. But hell never really know what split them apart, because he never bothered to ask for her mercy. This isnt guilt anymoreits despair.

Johns biggest problem would be that he never let Jane decide whether or not she would forgive him. He shut himself out because he thought he wasnt worthywhich points to an even larger problem. The fact that he, at one time, thought he was worthy. The key to keeping a marriage fresh is always trying to better ourselves for our spouse. Never ceasing our heroic attempts to win their hearts. Battling our inaptness in hopes that theyll at least give us credit for our effort.

When we see justification, the magic of heroism dies. When we think we deserve the love of another, we breed familiaritywhich breeds contempt. And when were suddenly cornered in the ugly gloom of guilt, where is the hope?

And if John decides to ask for Janes forgiveness, he might stand a chance. And then he can begin to turn this guilt into a forceone that never stops nagging him to do better. Not because of the right or wrong, but because she deserves better.

Then again maybe she wont forgive him. Because maybe shes human and cant accept betrayal. When it comes time to prove her love, she might crackand shes human.

But there is one human who will always forgive. There is someone who has already proven His love. He wont crack. He hasnt cracked. And we wont ever be worthy of His mercy, but its there all the same. All we have to do is approach Him.