So many people seem to be wary of contractors, but it is possible to form a good relationship with your contractor.

I understand the worry that we associate with hiring a contractor. They have a bad reputation. I've had both good and bad experiences, and each experience has taught me something new. Almost everyone I know has had a bad experience.

And a lot of the distrust we have for contractors is based on those bad experiences that happen ever so often. Ever watch a small claims television show. They are filled with people suing "contractors." Sit down and watch the evening news' solving problems report. You will hear plenty of stories about unscrupulous contractors.

Here's how it usually goes. The contractor is a nice guy that seems to know what you want. Plus, the price is right. He promises that he can do exactly what you want and start next Tuesday. But, he requires half of the estimated cost up front, in order to buy materials or other reasons. He takes your $25,000 and drives off in his nice truck with company logos on the door and is never seen again.

Okay -- it's extreme. And it can go other ways. You are left with shoddy work, or left without it completed. Some people spend months arguing with the contractor or can't even find him.

It doesn't have to happen. And sorry to say, sometimes it is the consumers fault too.

We spend a lot of time making big decisions. Choosing the right house took a long time. There was research into the best mortgage, the best neighborhood and what to expect out of closing. What we often overlook the fact that choosing a contractor to work on our investment is a big thing. This is your home. This is your money.

So take the time to shop around. Check out any potential contractors with the Better Business Bureau, the state attorney general's office and your friends and neighbors. Ask for licenses and references. Don't be afraid to ask questions. Do an internet search for the contractor and his business. Don't simply take the lowest bid, but don't rule it out either. Check on what it would cost you to do the work and compare that to the bids.

But even with the best contractors, things can get stressful.

It is a risky situation. You want a new kitchen, so you hire a stranger to come into your home for a couple of months. And you pay a lot of money. In return, during those months you will have delivery people and subcontractors in and out of your front door. Demolition will destroy your formerly functioning kitchen. You begin to wonder what you have started. Even if the crew and contractor are perfect in every way, you will grow tired of the situation. Everyone does. It's a normal reaction to such an invasion of personal space.

Before you let the situation get to you, take time to step into the contractor's boots for a minute. Chances are that your contractor owns his own business. He can't afford to do the work himself, he has to hire subcontractors. These subcontractors can be the source of problems in timing. So are suppliers. If they don't come through, the contractor gets behind.

All you can really do is be patient. Believe me, good contractors don't want to lose business. Perhaps he could hire someone else, but he may want the best people for your home. How do you know if you just jump down his throat?

The best contractors aren't great businessmen, which often causes problems. They are craftsmen who know how to do a job and do it well. They often run their own offices with the help of their families. And remember, you aren't the only client. While on your job, there are other jobs he is finishing up or bidding on.

So give your contractor a little help. Be honest with him when outlining the potential job. Tell the contractor how many bids you have taken and how his estimate ranks in the list. If you look at the contractor as someone who wants the best for your home, perhaps you can work together to make the renovations easy on both of you.