A number of research projects have shown that children and teenagers are quite savvy when it comes to observing the parenting skills of their mothers and fathers. Generally, they rank mothers higher than fathers in most areas concerning communication, which is probably pretty close to the mark.

One area where they say both genders are falling down is in the area of talking to kids about sexuality. It would appear that fathers are poor overall and mothers are not much better. Mothers do talk to children about sexuality but talk with girls more than boys and when they do they stick to plumbing and steer clear of topics such as masturbation and homosexuality. There appears to be five traits shared by parents who are able to talk openly about sexual issues with their children:

1. Parents give factual, truthful answers to childrens questions.

2. Parents listen to children.

3. Children are able to voice their opinions about sexual issues.

4. Parents dont insist that children stick to a rigid code of behaviour.

5. Parents use real life opportunities to engage children in discussions about sexuality.

Talking to kids about sex is hard work. Parents need both the processes in place to communicate with kids and the confidence to engage them about personal matters.