Saturday evening I met a pal up at a bar for a drink. Id actually been to this bar three weeks in a row and Id noticed that there was a guy who was checking me out, including when I was having drinks with On Paper*.
Saturday was no exception - this same guy was giving me The Eye from across the bar. Hed smile and say hello, but he seemed a bit shy to come over and talk to me.
I was giving off the right signals, I thought. I wanted Shy Guy to come say hello and have a drink with me, but having a female friend there probably wasnt helping my case. By the end of the night I was facing him completely as Id turned my back to this other man who would NOT leave me alone. He stood obnoxiously close to our barstools and blatantly moved to come sit next to me. He introduced himself, I was polite and shook his hand, but he was awkward and dorky and unable to hold my interest.
So, my friend had a boy meet her and they decided to head home. I planned to finish my beer and do the same, but I told them not to wait for me, as I was hoping Shy Guy would come say hello since Id be alone.
Sure enough, he did. I was immediately underwhelmed when he told me that he was 41, since thats not my age demographic, but we talked for a little while. He gave me his number and I called his cell so that he would have mine. I was thinking coffee or dinner one night with an older man might be good for me.
The bar neared closing time and I was ready to head home when Shy Guy asked a very forward question - Where are we continuing this conversation?
I dont know about you, Im but Im going home to bed. Alone, I said firmly. It would be terribly inappropriate for you to come.
He seemed a bit dejected, but offered to walk me to my car. I didnt really need an escort as I was parked right up front, but I accepted.
When Shy Guy got me to my car and gave me a hug, he immediately went in for a kiss and a grab. I twisted from his grasp and got into my car as he asked for me to follow him home. And then he said, Or Ill just follow you home.
Having none of it, I said, No. Just call me at a more appropriate hour.
As I pulled out of the parking lot, I wondered what Id do if he followed me. So I waited until hed turned out and I turned and went the other directions, traveling away from my apartment while I called B on the phone. I  talked to B for a few minutes while I watched for Shy Guys car. Not seeing it, I hit the Interstate to take the long way home.
Shy Guy called twice on my way home and then three times after I was safely in my bed, in my gated complex, behind a deadbolt, door chain and locked bedroom door - just for good measure. I never answered and dont plan to if he ever calls again.
Overreacting on my part? Maybe. But gentlemen, you should know that crazy doesnt get the ladies.
* FYI: On Paper is the new name for The Crier, because I feel like second chances deserve better nicknames.