For a limited time only, you may read this ad. This ad is guaranteed to contain everything you ever wanted in an ad; it comes complete with vowels, consonants, and punctuation. If you're not completely satisfied reading this ad, return your eyes for a full refund -- or if you prefer, send us the routing and account number of your grandmother's checking account.

Everyone likes air, and with the recent wave of severely extreme warm weather, you like your air conditioned. Once the oppressive atmospheric bombardment declines further, you'll require shampooed air. We ave several models of air shampooers in stock. Better yet, why not prepare yourself for the next summer and buy a new air conditioner and shampooer directly from Mental Dimensions. If you're not appy for any reason, we'll set you up with an otmail account free of charge.

Thinking about water lately? If you've bought a boat to escape from your wife's pubic air, you'll need a set of ores from us. We rent and lease only the best and cheapest ores you'll find. Our ores have been in the water many times, and are very experienced at oreing. If you're not completely satisfied after using our ores, use them again -- that's what ores are for. If you've used them sufficiently and are still not satisfied, we'll send you replacement ores which you can use for $20 an hour. Don't forget to grip your ore firmly when you place it in the water. Mental Dimensions isn't responsible if you've practiced poor judgment in using your ore, or if you've forgot to wear a life jacket while out oreing.

For more information about air products, don't esitate to contact us. We're ere to serve you every day, for five minutes. After you've purchased some air products from us and your check has cleared, we'll tell you exactly which five minutes those are. Those very special minutes may be randomized, spread out, or consecutive.